Do you Forgive or Forget ?

Has anyone ever told you –  “Be the better person and forgive them for their deeds” ; and you go ‘seriously?’

Is it seriously that easy to forgive someone who has repeatedly mistreated,disrespected & hurt you? Lets not talk about the person who accidentally pushed you on the bus, or the lady you had to fight with in the grocery shop to get that last box of milk for your daughter. I’m talking about people who have affected you mentally & emotionally. People who have given you that ‘scar’ in life, and you know you’re gonna remember that till the end of  life , no matter how much you try to erase it from your mind.

My question is, how easy is it to ‘forgive and forget’ someone who has hurt you? Do you really forgive and forget? Or do you just forgive, but you can never forget? Can you actually forget without forgiving? Or is it easier to forgive than to forget?

Over the years, I personally have been disrespected and hurt by many people close to me. When you keep getting hurt by the same people, you initially get very disturbed and upset by it.There were days I use to sit in my room and cry, and wondered why was I treated like a ‘stupid’. Was I really that much a ‘stupid’? It disturbs you mentally and emotionally more than anything else. But eventually, when you keep getting hurt by the same people – you will finally sit and wonder, ‘Is it me or is it really them that’s the problem?’

And that’s when you realize you have become matured enough to draw the line and put a stop to it. But even at that point, I just sat and became numb to all the crap that was going on. I didn’t wanna go low to their standards, so I just dealt with it. They think it’s ‘fine’ cause I’ve been their punching bag all this time. Do you forgive people like this?? Do you forgive people like this, just so they can do the same to my daughter? Do you forgive and forget?

A few days ago I read an article about how a man should watch what he says to his woman, cause she will never forget how she is treated by him – good or bad. But doesn’t that go for everyone? Yes we woman are obviously more emotional and sentimental with words and actions. But are you saying if a man stood there and got trashed by his boss with ‘out of the vocabulary’ words – he wouldn’t remember that day in 5years time? Yes I admit we woman have a longer and bigger memory storage than man ; but aren’t we all affected by words and actions if someone were to hurt us?

So where do you draw the line? Do you forgive people who has hurt you multiple times, in hope that they will change. Or do you keep them away, and protect yourself and family? Yes they always say you should be the ‘better person’ and forgive them. But whats the point if you cant forget? Personally I don’t think I can forgive a person if I cant forget. Obviously if you have forgotten it, you definitely have forgiven the person.But if you forgive them, will you trust them again? If you forgive, will you forget the words that were said? Will things be the same again if you forgive and forget? Do you forgive them even if they are not sorry for it? A little confused now? Join the club.

When I think about all the crap & s*#@! I have dealt with over the years , I look at it in a good way and thank god for teaching me so much. I have learned who to trust and who are there to pull me down with them. I can’t forgive these people, but I should thank them for making me a stronger person and opening my eyes. Forgiving a person just because they say we HAVE to, doesn’t mean its what you want in your life. We are not god. That’s what I’ve learned the hard way. Follow your heart and do what is right. If you really care and love a person, than forgive them for thats what your heart wants to do. But if you know this person is gonna hurt you again, be the stronger person and protect yourself and your loved ones from being in that ‘dark hole’.

I can never forget how one has disrespected and hurt me ; and I look at it as an opportunity to be the bigger and better person. Why??

Cause it always reminds me to never become ‘that person’ ; and that makes me happy in life.



2 thoughts on “Do you Forgive or Forget ?

  1. says: the end of the day..we don’t want to be ‘that person’ and tht is why we choose to be the bigger and better this!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Deszree says:

    Dear Mrs Don
    Kudos. Going through the situation and yet gaining strength whenever I my single mom and sisters face ressemble on my mind. Scars and deep cuts wasnt a new thing for me yet I know life has to go on. Nice write up. From here on im a follower of yr blog.

    Liked by 1 person

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