Hello , and welcome back to my Little World. As you have noticed, I was MIA for nearly a year – no sight & sound of me! Where have I been?? What have I been up to??
Nothing much actually!!
Due to domestic ‘nanny’ issues, and while waiting for a new nanny to come aboard and get comfortable with my daughter , I decided to do what many working mothers would have dreamt of doing for their child – QUIT THEIR JOB TO BE AT HOME!!
After one year of being a ‘stay at home mum’, there is only one thing I can say – I have the utmost respect for every stay at home mum out there!!
From being a full time working mum with a professional job, I became a “domestic psychotic women with absolutely no life” . I am not joking!
I obviously loved every bit of the day, getting to spend time with my daughter. It was a time i will always cherish and remember, and appreciate the opportunity I had. Something many working mothers could only dream of. I became a better mother and person, cause I got to build that communication and bond with my daughter, and watch her grow at that beautiful age. She grew so fast in that one year, I feel I haven’t seen enough.
When you’re a working mum, obviously your only wish is if you could spend more time at home with your children, especially when they grow so fast. But when you’re a stay at home mum, you only wish you had that “ME” time to get back your sanity!! And getting a job could give you that “ME” time to get back your sanity!! I’ve been on both sides, and I’m saying it from experience!!!
Being a stay at home mum takes a whole lot of patience, guts and determination to do !! Thats it!!!
I think it also comes down to the support from your partner, and the time you get to still ‘pay a little attention to yourself’ . I think in that one year, I totally neglected myself and my feelings, and what I wanted in myself – cause all that mattered was my daughter, and I was not gonna leave her with just any nanny or babysitter. I took everything in the household as MY responsibility , since I was the ‘unemployed’ and ‘not earning’ one. From mummy duties, cleaning, cooking,gardening, doing grocery, making sure my daughter was still jumping and yelling in the mids of all that housework, doing laundry, and the list goes on and on. And thats not it – you do it on Saturdays & Sundays too !!!!! That it eventually became out of the norm if I wanted to go out with my girlfriends, or do a little “pampering” time for myself.
Before you know it, it’s Monday again – and you’re like “What the hell did I do over the weekend??!!”.
You wake up the next morning, and its like “here we go again” !
I’m not trying to complain – but with that much responsibilities,and you don’t have time to take a deep breath and remember who you are – you CAN loose your sanity and become a different person. It eventually made me a very numb person, who thought i wasn’t worth going out for a little pampering, or a little dinner treat, or just a little shopping time.I would throw my shoe at the next person that called me “a HOUSEWIFE” !! I wasn’t earning anymore, which made me even more worthless to do anything. I lost control of my life. I lost my direction.
I have always been a very independent person, and I would rather take it all on myself, than to pass it on to someone else. But this time it was different. I suddenly felt I couldn’t do it anymore, cause it was changing me as a person,a woman and a Mother. And I would have appreciated help. A lot of help.
I was just NUMB. And the only joy I had and kept reminding myself was the happiness and love I got from my daughter because I was at home with her. That will always be irreplaceable to me.
Never ever underestimate a stay at home mum. She has more will and power than anyone out there, cause it isn’t as ‘easy and relaxing’ as you think !!
Today I’m back at work, as a better person and a more ‘controlled’ person. I see myself again. I see myself building my career again, to give my daughter a better life in the future. I have less time with my daughter today, but I keep going cause she’s MY DIRECTION today.
She’s MY REASON today.